Skinamarink-ing toward happiness

The great thing about teaching Junior One students? When I am feeling down, I can teach them a song and make them sing it to me. Which is exactly what I did this afternoon.

Last chance

My students received their last batch of pen pal letters today.

"This is your last chance," I told them. "Think hard about what you want to write."

My students were surprised that we would not continue writing letters next year. I broke the news that I was only teaching at their school for this year. After that, there would be a different foreign teacher.

"No!" they cried. "Too soon!"

One of my students wrote to her pen pal, "Tell you bad news. My oral English teacher Jolie will leave. So we also keep in touch by ourselves. When I heard that, I'm very sad."

I was touched, and it occurred to me that these last few weeks would be my last chance too. I must make the most of the remaining classes with my students.

It's strange. The first few months of coming to the school seemed to drag on interminably, but the last few have rushed by me. I've barely been able to stop and really absorb that this experience will almost be over.

Lately, I've pondered one question: Have I done enough? My self-evaluation depends on the day. On bad days, I am reminded of some students who still can barely read a simple sentence or say a greeting to me. I wonder if I have made any difference.

On most days I know I have had some impact, even if the results of my teaching are not so tangible as a grade. At the same time that there are students who seem to be stagnant in their English learning, I see others bloom. I notice them take the initiative to speak to me in English, whereas last semester they hung back or only used Chinese. And instead of pausing every few words when reading sentences, they push ahead. I notice less fear.

I've learned in my own life that the biggest obstacle to anything is your own self. Lack of confidence can be crippling, and I don't want that to be the reason my students don't succeed. I have my one year to show them it's possible they speak English, and then it's in the hands of the next volunteer.

Against a wall

What's this feeling? Frustration, weakness, loss of hope. Oh yeah, despair. That kind of sums up my morning. It was my first day of teaching after a week away. Usually these first days are a little rough around the edges. Today it was a train wreck.

Last semester my biggest problem was chattiness and trying to get the students to focus. Now it's quiet in the classroom, a little too quiet. It's all too obvious to me now that the kids have stopped trying. I've hit a wall of apathy and now I am banging my head against it.

The senior one (10th grade) students are divided into six classes, the brightest kids in three classes and the rest in the remaining three. I had four classes this morning, three of them with the not-so-bright kids.

To motivate the unmotivated is like conjuring some magic spell. Some teachers have that gift and I have to accept that I just don't. I'm up against too much. There are too many who don't care and who don't care to such a great degree that I can't even get them to repeat words after me. ("I can't see," a student said to me this morning to try to get out of reading.)

The kids are ranked in their classes from the time they are five or six. From then on, you are labeled a "good" student or a "bad" student. The unfortunate thing is that some of my "bad" students are pretty good at English; they just couldn't care less about learning English.

In my third period class, after 40 minutes of urging students to answer questions and read sentences without one hand being raised, I came close to walking out.

"You're angry," one of the students said in Chinese.

I sighed heavily. I was angry, but instead I said, "I'm not angry. I'm just not happy. Every week you are like this. No one raises their hand."

I left the classroom the moment the bell rang and sat in the office brooding and thinking, "There are no bad students, only bad teachers." But the truth is, there are bad students. Maybe if they had more encouragement from parents or teachers early on and even now, this wouldn't be the way things are now.

I'm no super teacher nor a magic conjurer, but I am an optimist. I still have some time to figure out how to break through that wall.

Shanghai: Fifteen minutes of fame on the Bund

When a tall, blonde American stands on Shanghai's Bund, Chinese people have an overwhelming urge to take a picture with him.

Allen and I had just asked a man to take a picture of the two of us on the iconic banks of the Huangpu River. Perhaps others passing by thought I was just another Chinese tourist, and perhaps they thought this was a hard-to-come-by opportunity, to stand side by side with a foreigner and have it memorialized.

The first ones were men who had hired one of the professional photographers along the river. Others saw this and within less than five minutes, fifteen people stopped to ask Allen for a picture. Men and women, young and old. At one point, three people who didn't know each other -- with point-and-shoot cameras and camera phones -- were taking pictures of him at the same time.

This isn't the first time Chinese people have made this request to him. I just found it strange that it should happen in Shanghai and, not only that, the most touristy part of Shanghai. Plenty of other foreigners were walking along the river too. Why they targeted Allen I'm not sure. One theory is he stands out more with his height and light-colored hair. Another theory is that he was with a Chinese girl (me) so perhaps seemed more approachable. Whatever the reason, this was celebrity.

Hangzhou: Heaven on earth

"There is Heaven in the sky and there are Suzhou and Hangzhou on earth." -- famous Chinese saying

Allen and I have returned from a week in Hangzhou and Shanghai. I have been itching to go to Hangzhou for some time now. Often Chinese people ask about my laojia -- literally my 'old home.' When I tell them my mother's side of the family is originally from Zhejiang Province, they immediately ask, "Have you been to Hangzhou? ... No? Then you must go. The West Lake is beautiful."

After two full days of walking and biking in Hangzhou, I must say the West Lake met my very high expectations. Trees lined the wide walkway, with pruned bushes and colorful flowers at every turn. On the lake itself, people rented small rowboats with cushioned seats inside. In the distance was downtown Hangzhou, a faint gray outline. It seemed that only around the lake was the city lively and bursting with color.



On the first day we circled the 15 kilometers around the lake by foot, which took most of the day. To me, what made this place so great wasn't the setting but the people there. Along the lake, couples walked holding hands, young parents pushed noisy strollers and every few steps people took photos of the view. One of the best things about traveling in China is watching Chinese people pose for photos. They must take no less than five shots of the same pose before repeating with another pose. I imagine many of these people did not even make it halfway around the lake.

After lunch, we returned to the lakeside where crowds huddled around singers, erhu players and drummers. The music was traditional Chinese folk, a singing style that sounds high-pitched and nasal-y. I'll call it an acquired taste. I'm not a fan of the music but I loved watching the crowd form during the impromptu concerts. It seemed at any moment a curiosity of some sort could draw a crowd. A couple with two miniature bunnies sat down across from us. Allen went over to pet one of the bunnies and I took a picture. Within seconds, a few people stopped to watch. Before I had a chance to take another photo, the young woman with the bunny was surrounded by people.







Our second day in Hangzhou coincided with May 1, a Saturday and also a national holiday for Labor Day. The lake was transformed. The streets encircling the lake were jammed with buses, cars, motorcycles and bicycles, including the two we rented. The bridges over the lakes and the pavilions perfect for photos ops were packed end-to-end. It looked like people were waiting in a mass line, but for what? They were already at the destination.

Weaving through traffic, we eventually made our way west, away from the dangerously close bumpers. The traffic, on both the roads and sidewalks, thinned. Very soon I spotted rows of short, dark green bushes. Straw hats poked above the bushes as women picked the tea leaves. Hangzhou is famous for its dragon well tea, and by chance we stumbled upon a park where there is an actual Dragon Well where the ancients prayed for rain.



Hangzhou is ranked the "happiest city" in China and I definitely see why. There's the perfect balance of nature's beauty and a big city's conveniences. (Just don't try to get a cab late at night downtown. It's near impossible to get a driver to take you to the West Lake. Trust me.) I wouldn't make a special trip to Hangzhou, but if you are going to Shanghai and have a day or two to spare, it's definitely worth the two-hour train ride.

Despite the pleasantness, I think it was just enough time. Any longer I might be bored from over-relaxation, if that's such a thing. So we headed to Shanghai when we did.

A day in my life

Travel website Matador published my article entitled, "A Day in the Life of an Expat in Lengshuijiang, China." Of course everyday is different with new surprises and challenges, but this article will give you a basic idea of what the typical day is like for me.